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Over the years I’ve honed many skills. Some I’ve learned with more aptitude than others. Of all of the skills I’ve acquired, the one I display that most deftness with is turning a woman’s interest in me into contempt and utter disgust within 24 hours of meeting me.

I excel at that.

brandnewswastikas:

I started smoking to try to look cool and impress her. When that didn’t work, I continued smoking so I would die. 

You look beautiful in the glow of your smart phone screen. If only you’d look up from it occasionally.

brandnewswastikas:

I went on a walk with you even though you weren’t here and it was nice.